Decision time

It has been a long fall and it is decision time. This is the point of no return, the point where it is do or die, the time to decide if the sacrifice is worth it. I've trained really hard this fall in the weight room and been focused on my diet. My body weight is the lowest it has been in over 10 years while my strength levels remain where they were when I was 25lbs bigger. That is a good thing, right? Maybe I will finally have the speed breakthrough that I have been missing for years. Competing this year will require continued sacrifices, 4:30am workouts, blood, sweat and tears. Because of my job I will need to continue with my graduate degree... four nights a week. On top of working full time and trying to maintain some sense of mental sanity it will be a tough road to continue to pursue the dream from years ago. I CAN function on 5 or less hours of sleep if need be, I've proven that this fall. I AM capable of getting quality lifting sessions in before work then functioning effectively as an administrator for 8 hours. Physically I am ready, mentally I have been discovering new strength that I didn't know that I had within myself. I have proved to myself morning after grueling morning that I am capable of whatever I put my mind to. I now choose to put my mind to throw, to throw for me, to throw for the right reasons. And most importantly to throw to the best of my ability. This decision is not weighed lightly. It is going to be a difficult road, but I have my sights set on my goal. I have one purpose for this season; to throw the Olympic A standard. Anything beyond that will be considered gravy. Making a team is not essential, but setting my throw up for success in 2012 is. Here's to blood, sweat and tears and most importantly, determination for 2011.

5am training

So for the past two months I've been training before school with workouts beginning at 5am. It was rough at first but now I'm really into a good rhythm with it. I am finding that not only is it a good way for me to wake up and become productive with my day, but it is helping met to get more quality lifting sessions in. I've taken an approach to get ripped and fit this fall and then will transition into speed, lightening speed this spring. I know that if I am able to continue my technical training as I know I can, if everything falls into place it will be a successful year. One of my big goals is to get my body into the shape of an Olympian.... So far I'm at 180lbs and am shooting for a ripped and lean 170-175 by January. My strength has been pretty good, although as my body fat is dropping I can feel how my recovery time is at times extended. The good thing is that my strength hasn't been compromised too much yet and I am still making strength gains.
I still haven't decided if I am going to compete for the indoor weight this year or not... I think I need another month of general conditioning and drills before I can make that assessment.
I guess that is all for now.... onward to another full week of early workouts!

And so it begins.....

Today marked the first day back in the weight room in nearly two months. I've really been focused on dropping body fat these past couple of weeks, and am proud to say I'm on the road to successfully accomplish that goal. After having a very dissapointing 2010 season, I need to make some changes if I want to make a run at the team in 2012. The first step is to drop my weight so that I am slim and trim and LOOK the part... then I will focus on enhancing my speed (a component that has been lacking in my throw for two years) and develop the event specific strength that I will need. I have to be honest, after falling on my face and nearly fouling out at the USATF championships this June, I seriously considered hanging up my shoes and moving on with my life. It was very disheartening to me to finish the lowest I had in nine years of the event, I made the argument with myself that I had too much going on and that my life was heading in a different direction with my career, school and coaching. I really felt like I hated the event, and had lost any love I had for it. Realistically I was just avoiding the truth, I had let myself down last year with my focus and avoided the reality of what I was truly accomplishing with my training. I let my brain get in my way and over thought the event and my personal situation. I realize that I still have a lot of obsticales to overcome to earn success, but I know I can do it. I've proven to myself these past few months that I CAN wake up at 4:45/5am and complete a meaningful workout before I head to work. As much as it sucks to do so, that is the reality of my training if I want to get anything accomplished this year and have success. Working full time, coaching and taking nine credits of grad school does not allow for much time to train, I will need to make the time even if that means getting up before the sun. I also realize that I need to take hold of my diet and allow my body to transform into the lean mean throwing machine that I know I am capable of. I've got the ball rolling and have dropped 20 pounds and counting so far. My goal is to be around 169lbs by October when I begin my heavy lifting again... I'm only 13 pounds away and know I can achieve this goal in the next two months. The time has come to take the first steps in redeeming myself in the ring, I will continue my journey to London that started ten years ago and finally accomplish what I set my sights on.

bounce back.........

As I'm sitting at the hotel in Miami passing time until I take a cab to the airport I realize that now is as good a time as any to reflect upon my performance from this weekend. To sum up my thoughts in one sentence would not be possible as I am filled with a variety of feelings about my lackluster performance yesterday. Before I begin on my tyraid of a pity party let me first begin by thanking the University of Miami Coaching staff especially Amy for allowing me to compete at their meet this weekend. I am thankful for college coaches who understand that even the little meets are essential for post collegiate athletes to compete in to create a full competitive schedule. Also I am thankful for Derek's boss Dennis Shaver for allowing me to tag along with the LSU team and share a room with Derek. What could have been a VERY costly trip did not hurt our wallets so much having to not pay for a hotel room for three nights, so THANKS COACH! (PS, I enjoyed the team trip to the beach this morning too!). Lastly, thanks to my Bosses Elvis Cavalier and Alicia Franklin for the support and understanding to take multiple days off from work to pursue my dream.

My marks from this weekend were not acceptable by any means with the 4k hammer. I am in no way happy nor content with a best meet mark of 61.70m and frankly, feel a bit embarrassed. As my competitors are posting respectable marks, here I am STRUGGLING to throw 202 feet. Its not that I didn't try, or didn't want to be at the meet... I felt like my attitude and mindset was all in the correct place. I even came off of a good week of throws. So what the F***!! I just couldn't find that "bigger" throw yesterday. Although I won by 13 feet it is still not an excuse for me to shut down like I did. I need to find a way to get a big mark even when the steaks are not high for a meet.

Technically I feel that I have made leaps and bounds in the past two weeks to progress towards marking a new personal best. However, yesterday I was decelerating again for my fourth turn and into delivery. TOTALLY NOT LIKE PRACTICE! I was ready to hit something bigger than 61.70m. When I am hitting marks in practice with 10lb, 4k, and 3.5k hammers that I haven't seen since 2007, how can a meet mark from the SAME WEEK be so poor? FRUSTRATING AS HELL! I was popping up out of the throw so that in my fourth turn my catch foot was hanging in the air rather than quickly reaching the ground for my delivery. If you are familiar with the hammer you are aware that your last turn has to be your fastest. If you have any deceleration of the hammer during your last turn into delivery it significantly reduces the distance of a throw. SOOOOO... when I can fix that competitive error I'll be posting marks that I can once again brag about.

Among all the feelings of disappointment and/or frustration after I have after a poor distance performance I feel humbled. I am quickly reminded of how HARD I have to work to accomplish anything big. I know in my heart I have been training harder than I ever have and have to trust that my throw will be found.... eventually. My weight room training is far superior than anything I have ever done, my drills are coming around and my level of fitness is above anything that Kristal Yush or even Kristal Kostiew (Wow.. that was really weird to write) has ever been at. Even my practice throws have begun to come around. Derek reminds me of where I have come from.... he often reminds me to appreciate the high aspirations of a girl who once was happy with a 151' hammer mark. I also have to be reminded that it took me THREE years AFTER college to BEGIN being competitive with the best in the USA, something that I have now begun to EXPECT of myself. Derek helps to ground come to realize that my goals and expectations are often higher than they should be considering the dramatic change we have made in my technique. But really, 202 feet?!?!? I'm in no way happy nor satisfied with that mark.

When Derek and I decided to make the change from a toe and three to a four heel technique it was understood that any major change within a throw would take time before yielding the results I am looking for. I understand that. But It is hard for me to ACCEPT. I am the type of person who expects greatness of myself at all times. Last year really helped me to feel humbled and sometimes embarrassed with my performances and knew I had to make a change to continue pursuing my dream. After my accident in March 2008 I had developed some very bad habits within my throw and we just needed a different approach to the throw to avoid the technical flaws that seemed to continuously arise week after week. Mentally I didn't trust the throw anymore and needed to make a change and start fresh mentally and physically. My first couple of weeks training four heels was scary at best, but now, feeling some of the positions that I do (although sparatically) I KNOW there is a big throw somewhere there. Derek tells me I have to trust it. I am trying. Days like yesterday have to be approached as a learning experience, even if it is a hard thing to do. Its difficult to swallow the feelings of disappointment in my performance, because I KNOW that I am capable of so much more. But I have to find a way to get past this feeling. Yesterday was just a meet. I will have more. Its time to bounce back and re-focus for next week.

I have become no stranger to disappointment or frustration regarding my athletic endevors. However what I can say that I will inevitably be able to bounce back, no matter what. This morning the LSU team took a 1.5 hour drip to the beach... my solution to bounce back this time was to hit some sprints in the sand. This little bit of exercise kind of helps to flush out and purge myself of the harsh feelings of disappointment, and get my mind ready to start fresh again on Monday. I'm not gonna' lie, the beach trip, although short in duration, was enjoyable in many other ways too. It was nice to swim for a bit with Derek, watch some of his boys make a fool of the local lifeguards and enjoy some sun!

On a more positive note it is trips like this that I am thrilled to take. My hammer throwing travels have brought me to more places in the USA and the world than I ever could have imagined as a little girl growing up in NH. It's pretty cool to be able to say that I have traveled to places like Miami and gotten to eat the food, interact with a cab driver named Carlos from Cuba, listened to conversations in languages I can't understand, ENJOY THE BEACH, and marvel at the archetecture and art decco that this city is famous for. Although at times performances will disappoint me, it is important to sit back, relax and enjoy the places my throwing has brought me to.

Baby Steps

This afternoon marked the initiation of my 2010 hammer season. Today was also my first meet utilizing my “new” technique of four heel turns instead of a toe and three. Although essentially I am making the same number of turns in the circle, the throw (I feel) is a completely different animal. I’ve been struggling for the past week with the transition and catch between my first and second heel turns, so that was my focus for today. Essentially my thinking is, focus on the beginning of the throw and the rest of the throw will fall into place. I felt today that my first two turns transition and catch was smooth, and I even had a bit of a counter and sat my hips back! What was lacking in my throws today was tempo. My second, third, and fourth turn into delivery were all the same speed and I couldn’t find another gear without pulling my shoulders out of the throw. I was upset with this until I was reminded that I just finished week three of my weight room cycle (next week is a down week! Yay!!!) and am coming off of an injury where I haven’t done any speed or explosive work in two weeks. Derek said that he was pleased with my mark of 64.17meters (210’6”). He told me after my second throw that he was actually pleasantly surprised with the mark and it was a meter and a half further than he thought my best would be today. According to him, because I had had such a difficult week with my throws, he thought that a decent mark would have been a 62.50 or 63m throw. I had more lofty goals of around 65meters and can’t help but feel a bit disappointed. Technically I am pleased with how my throw is progressing, but part of me wants the BIG MARKS now! LOL. I know that it is a process, and sometimes I forget that I haven’t begin my throw with a heel turn in over five years. (and even then it was only a three turn throw and WAY worse!). My goal is for 2012 and I need to keep making successful baby steps to set myself up for the bigger picture. Having expressed my disappointment, keeping things into perspective, last year I only threw 60m(ish) in March with a toe and three heels….. a technique that I threw my personal best mark with. So in a way I consider myself to be 3+ meters ahead of last year. If my best mark this spring is 3+ better than my best mark from last year (68m) I’ll be a very happy hammer girl come July.

As I mentioned before, my training week in the ring was a rough one. I don’t think that I had a single mark over 60meters with the 4k or 10lb hammer. Even my 3.5k throws were nothing to brag about. Although I’ve been able to increase my reps in practice, I am still not back at the 30 throw practices I had worked up to. I think in the past two weeks I only logged 120ish throws (that’s both weeks combined). Generally I would have at least that many in a single week, I’m looking forward to getting that number back up next week.

I have been able to push it again in the weight room, but because of the recovery from my shin mishap I have stayed away from jumps and sprints again this week until I’m back to 100% health. My squat workout was better than last week with my final set of 4 at 365… better than my 335 two weeks ago. My clean and clean pull day went well too, my last set of 4 with clean pull was at 245! Other than that, I have eased back into switches (less aggressive this week with less weight) and have added the side snatch to my snatch day….. that reminds me… I CAUGHT a set of 4 in the snatch at 60kilos (135lbs)!! That’s by far my best for reps ever (I think the last time I MAXED in the snatch it was at 60 kilos! Lol). So once again, my weight room training continues to surpass any of my previous achievements, even from my 2007 season. I know once I find my throw, I’ll be at a fitness level far beyond anything I’ve had in the past. That can only mean good things….baby steps in the ring, baby steps in the weight room, and baby steps with my diet will all add up!

Drills, and cross training

This week can pretty much be summed as a drill and cross training week, not by choice but necessity. Last Saturday while at the NCAA Championships I was still having excessive pain in my shin from my tumble with the hurdle last week. I swear I was not being a baby when I said it was painful, it was still sore to the touch and a beautiful array of colors ranging from just below my knee into the middle of my arch. Derek had asked the team trainer to take a look at it and the faces he made were not all too promising as he began his initial prognosis. He said that I had a lot of "pitted edema" which typically results after serious trauma to an area. Well... I guess my tibia thought that landing on a hurdle was a bit traumatic. Ben's initial assessment in Arkansas planted a seed of worry in the back of my mind that I could have perhaps fractured my tibia. I have never (knock on wood) had a broken bone in my life, other than my big toe that I swear was broken after I dropped a 45lb plate on it in the fall of 2007. I was still able to grit my teeth and do drills and get my lifts in while in Arkansas, although it was painful to do, I could grin and bear it. Dude!! What if it was really fractured?

After work I made it into the training room for a more thorough assessment. Ben (LSU team trainer) poked and squeezed and made me wince in pain until he made the statement that I had hoped for. "Well, its not fractured but....." I really didn't process much beyond the "not fractured" I was just relieved that I wouldn't be hobbling around in a boot, loosing valuable training time. Basically Ben's assessment was that although I did not fracture the bone, it was pretty badly bruised. Derek and I had to adjust the training for the week and limit throws to only two days where I threw only half the reps I typically do. Then I ended up drilling more and doing more cross training rather than aggressive lifts.

Soooo.... I finally pulled my bike out of the garage and dusted it off, pumped up the tires, located my helmet and took a awesome bike ride on the levee. I also spent some quality time on the elliptical this week. Yesterday I got back into the ring for high rep throws and did a squat workout in the afternoon. Derek adjusted my reps for squats this week to be higher than they would typically be this time of year, but it was necessary to wean myself back to loaded exercise. I believe that today I will FINALLY have a high rep day in the ring and test out some short hurdles and cleans. Although I typically HATE to drill, perhaps this little injury set back will benefit my throws in my opening meet at LSU on Friday! Have a great week everyone!

Champions Rise

This week of training and work has literally FLOWN by. I am currently at the NCAA championships in Fayetteville, Arkansas. Being at the indoor meet is a first for me. The closest I ever came to making an NCAA Championship was coming within one spot my senior year in 2004. Watching the women’s weight and the track events yesterday really made me appreciate how much I really have accomplished since 2004. Although I will never have the “All American” credentials, and have never made NCAA’s, I have worked hard and proven that I am one of the best in the country. I have been determined to place in the top 4 at the USA National indoor meet, and top 8 in the outdoor USA National meet for the past six years (except indoors this year, lol). The women’s weight field was impressive with first through third places all placing with personal bests and strong marks. Watching the mental capacity of some of the athletes who entered the meet with big marks was interesting to observe. Some of the women who did not make finals or who were seeded much higher than they finished, seemed to crumble under the pressure of the meet. Better athletes and technicians were beat by those less technically sound, but who COMPETED well. Watching the women’s weight yesterday solidified my belief that on the day of a big competition the winners will be those who have the mental capacity to COMPETE and RISE to the challenge. The same is true for the USA level meets. Previous marks will only get an athlete so far, once at the meet, its “competitors compete and champions rise”!

My training week has been solid once again. My weight room stats continue to be above anything I have put together in the past. Monday night was a bit of a challenge as I couldn’t get my workout started until 8:45. Its nights like this when I would much rather get ready for bed and unwind instead of heading to the garage and pumping iron for an hour. But the feeling of accomplishment when I have finished one of these workouts after a long day of work make me believe that I have the fortitude to accomplish my lofty goals. My sets that night went really well considering I was lifting well past my typical bedtime. My clean pulls are moving up, my sets of 2x5, 2x4, 2x3 all over 225lbs , my hang cleans were in the 180-190range for reps, then weighted box jumps for 8x5, and a killer core workout.

Tuesday was solid in the ring, I threw 10 throws with the 16# on a 15” wire, with my range between 85-92’, then took 15 throws with the 4k, with a close grouping around 60m. After throws I had a short sprint workout that kinda’ killed my legs, I haven’t done much sprinting in a while, so my two sets of 5x50m wiped me out!

Wednesday was a rough training day, my throws were better off not having been released, I think I got through three sets and decided it was just one of those days for my mental sanity that I decided to stop and drill rather than become more frustrated and get my reps in. Drills went ok, and gave me some insights as to why my throws were not on par for the day. I was rushing out of the back after wind two, and then dropping my hands on the catch for all of my turns. Anyone who knows the hammer well can easily tell you that those two things are a recipe for poor throws. Anyway, from there I had a jump circuit. I had 75 contacts to make total so I broke it into 3x5x5 over the 33” hurdles. I have recently been able to jump the “big girl” hurdles and have been feeling confident about my power output. Wednesday night however, my body was not responding the way I need it to. I was just starting on my third set when I landed with my right shin on the top of the hurdle. Don’t ask me how this was possible, I probably couldn’t ever do it in the same manner again. Obviously landing on the top of the hurdle caused me to fall, land on my face and feel like a total idiot. Not to mention that I was about ready to explode because of the numbing pain. Think about it, nearly 200 lbs of body weight coming down on the small top of a hurdle through my shin. Not too cool. I did my typical roll around on the track in agony, punching the mondo time and again before gritting my teeth and “walking it off”. To my credit was not a pansy, I didn’t cry. I completed my set (my last couple of jumps became more of a one legged bound over the hurdles) and completed my 20 sets of agility ladder exercises for the day. I look at the gash in my shin today and my pathetic bruises and am slightly proud that I still have the “just rub dirt on it and get back into the game” ability. LOL.

I traveled Thursday after work to Arkansas to join up with Derek and the LSU team at the NCAA Championships. Derek and I did a “shake out” late that night (again, starting at 9:45pm…) that consisted of a power-walk alternating with ¼ mile run for 2.5 miles and an abdominal circuit.

Yesterday Derek and I watched the women’s weight throw and spent nearly two hours searching for the mysterious and evasive “other ring” to throw off of. When we finally did find the ring we couldn’t access the circle due to a locked gate and barbed wire. There wasn’t even space for me to crawl under or through like I would typically do, so needless to say we had to resort to drills the past coupe of days. Once again though, my lifts have been going well. Derek found an awesome “hole in the wall” Anytime Fitness where I was able to get my squat day in yesterday. Squats went well, 2x5 @ 315, 2x4 @ 335. I was definitely favoring my right leg and my shin was still sore from my hurdle misshap, but the rest of the workout went well. 5x8 of SLDL, 3x5 jump squat, lat pull downs 5x8 and rotational abdominal circuit.

This morning I was able to get a quick lift in before heading to he men’s weight throw to watch Walter and Max . My lifts were easy today, overhead squat 5x5, snatch pulls 2x5,2x4 , dumbbell snatch 2x4, 1x3 and switches 8x5. Today will be off from the hammer and will get back to the ring when I return to Baton Rouge tomorrow.

Watching Walter and Max compete in the weight throw was quite possibly the most stressful thing I have experienced in a long while. I know how hard both of them have worked all year and how important it was for them to have big performances. I am definitely guilty of living vicariously through them for the competition as were many of those who watched. I’m not going to deny that I was shaking when Walter nearly gave Derek a heart attack with a foul on his first throw, but then settled in on the next two preliminary marks. I thought that Max competed very well for his first time ever at such a big meet, he was able to remain technically sound and improved his seed from 15th to 11th. Walter solidified the ”competitors compete and champions rise” saying. I am proud of how he handled the stress, pressure and expectations that have been put on him for this meet. He was able to keep it together, rise above all, compete with the best in the nation and come out on top. Being in his situation could not have been an easy task, but he had the mental fortitude to overcome it and RISE above all with his first NCAA Championship title. His win marks the first and a very memorable National Champion moment for my husband. It has definitely been a memorable weekend, I am so proud of Derek, Walter and Max! Geaux Tigers!